Poem: Viewpoint

her bike desired the sea
her bike desired the sight

she desired the taste of salt
the sting on broken skin

so over the rocks she went
from the scenic view

she abandoned her bike
she left it

all for you

a red bicycle beside the railing of a scenic viewpoint

This poem was inspired by this photograph by Tracey Grumbach (via http://dversepoets.com/2012/04/07/poetics-new-view-for-you/)

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29 comments for “Poem: Viewpoint

  1. April 7, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    Wow! This was unexpected.

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      Thanks for stopping by and reading. :)

  2. April 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    This is quite unexpected and well crafted, with a dark and sharp twist. Excellent take on the prompt.

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 7:09 pm

      Thank you.

  3. April 7, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    sometimes…you just have to get closer and deeper…and then the bike can’t follow any more…yes..i get this..

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 7:09 pm

      The bike, or anything made by another person.

  4. April 7, 2012 at 7:29 pm

    smiles…nice dance in this…i def desire the salt kiss and taste of the air….and the rhythm of the ocean…yeah…so if i got to get there by bike, so be it…and cool to leave the map or the way for others to follow…smiles.

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 7:10 pm

      Thanks, Brian.

  5. April 7, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    it’s like the bike is her heart and she left the heart also (and it wasn’t even San Francisco, or was it?)

    black tailed fliers

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 7:01 pm

      Well, if one took it as even remotely autobiographical, San Francisco would be one of the possibilities. ;-) I lived there almost as long as I’ve now lived in Belfast.

  6. Gay
    April 7, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Good take on the photo. Puts me in mind of the “white bicycles” just take them to your destination and leave them. Maybe it’s what we should do with everything when we are finished with it. Lovely metaphor. Thanks.

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 7:12 pm

      I like that idea. I practice something a little like this since I seem to move internationally every few years. All my old stuff gets donated, usually to a thrift shop.

  7. ekswitaj
    April 7, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    Thanks all. I guess whenever I see a photo with so much evidence of human presence but with no person in the frame, I’m compelled to make up a story to explain why it’s that way.

  8. April 7, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    Wow…unexpected take on the photo but a marvelous piece!

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 7:12 pm

      Thanks, Susie.

  9. April 7, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Okay, I won’t say WOW, even though I thought it. I’ve eard of attention grabbing openings, but you jolted me at the end, in a matter-of-factly kind of way. Very sharp and clean and interesting voice. Excellente!

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 7:13 pm

      Thanks, Henry. I’ve gone in for the big ending as long as I can remember; the challenge is making the rest of the poem stand up to it.

  10. April 7, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    “she desired the taste of salt
    the sting on broken skin”

    I think when we are numb emotionally, the sting on broken skin is a welcome friend…at least she feels SOMETHING.

    Such an honor for you to use my image as inspiration. Thank you for your words.

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 8:01 pm

      That’s it exactly. Thank you so much for letting your images be used in this way. :-)

  11. April 8, 2012 at 12:12 am

    I love this line: “her bike desired the sea”

    And the idea that she went over the edge. You told a great story in so few words; excellent.

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 8:02 pm

      Thanks, Shawna. I like to imagine that everything in the world desires something, even those things that can’t be aware of desire.

  12. Marousia
    April 8, 2012 at 1:47 am

    Love the story in this – beautifully wrought

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      Thank you, Marousia!

  13. April 8, 2012 at 2:28 am

    I like the unexpected twist…very well done~

    Nice to meet you at D’verse

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 11:15 pm

      Thanks!

  14. ds
    April 8, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Perfect. Thank you.

    • ekswitaj
      April 8, 2012 at 11:16 pm

      I’m glad you liked it. :)

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